i hate the pain
i hate the suffering
why can't it go
away...
away forever
like a lost memory
a memory from the...
past
i hate it
i wish it would leave
never to come back

i hate the pain
i hate the suffering
i could cut myself
to make all the pain go away
then who would i be
i would be nothing
no one

the only ones that love me...
are distant in my mind...
and from my body
i wish it to go
i will it to go
LEAVE!!!!!!!
NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!

the pain
the suffering
i hate it
i wish i could...
cry sometimes
or just die
to get rid of the pain

i will
i will die now...
and forever

here goes...
i cut myself deep
so deep that i do not feel the...
pain that i have been suffering from
i cry out with laughter...
but when i stop the cutting...
the pain comes back
the suffering...
and i cry...
out with sorrow

so i continue
...
i am now in a puddle of my blood
dying
slowly...
with no pain now
i am numb

the one who is distant
the very one that loves me
is now in the room
i can barely see him
he picks me up...
and cradles me in his strong arms
until i slip into unconsciousness
i feel loved...

i wake up in a room stareing at a white ceiling....
i think it is a hospital
i see my distant family...
just barely
he is right beside me
holding my hand
i squeeze his hand
he squeezes back
he leans over and kisses me...
on the cheek

i love you...
you are the only one who cares
i say...
i love you too
do not do that again...
in that sweet soft deep voice
he says

i am sorry i say...
i realise now...
that it is my uncle
he cares about me
the only one who cares

i love you...

the pain is gone now
i am not in that white...
ceilinged place anymore
i am sitting with him at a table
my arms and legs bandaged up
we are holding hands
we are looking at each others eyes
his are blue
mine are green
we both say...
...
...
...
...
...
...
i love you

This Poem Is Dedicated To My Uncle